


Tommy's Rules

by Danagirl623



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, M/M, One Shot, flashclub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-24 18:15:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20018878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danagirl623/pseuds/Danagirl623
Summary: Barry Allen and Tommy Merlyn accidentally get married.





	Tommy's Rules

_ Rules for a successful life:  _

  1. _Fuck on the first date._



  1. _Protect yourself from harm (including wearing a condom and don’t brag you’re rich)_



  1. _Never meet exes (or husbands or wives)_



  1. _Never meet parents ESPECIALLY MOTHERS._



_ Violations:  _

  1. _been dating Barry for nearly a year and no fucking. Fooled around sure, but why no dick in ass?_



  1. _Dinner? Flat tire? Phone bill? Actual emergency room trip where the bill totaled hundreds of thousands? All paid, and the best head of my life._



  1. _Iris West. that lady is scary and loves Barry more than anyone else does. Ollie, too, but he was my friend first._



  1. _We regularly have meals with both Barry’s foster Dad, Officer Joe West, and his birth Dad, Dr. Henry Allen. Joe calls me a ‘dumbass’ affectionately (I hope) and Henry slips me baby pictures of Barry._



_ Conclusion: _

_ I’m a big old dumbass who fell in love with Barry Allen and I haven’t even been dicked down.  _

_ Solution: _

_ Get married or break up.  _

  
  


Tommy looked at the word document on the screen and closed it without saving it. He picked up his cell phone and sent a frantic message to Barry. 

_ Babe, we gotta get married.  _

_ Ok. Sure. Have your lawyer bring some papers over tonight.  _

‘That was simple.’ Tommy thought as he got to work. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Tommy Meryln stood in Big Belly Burger waiting for his boyfriend to get here. There had been some sort of Flash emergency, and he said he’d be over afterwards. The busty lawyer eyed Tommy in a hungry sort of way. 

“Stop,” Tommy said, smoothing down his ratty old Pearl Jam t-shirt. “I’m getting married.”

“So am I. Never stopped us before,” Pamela responded in a sex-kitten voice. 

Tommy rolled his eyes, and glanced up at the door again. “This is different. I like him.”

“You always say that until you’ve got my DD’s in your-”

“Shut up!” Tommy hissed, as he saw a red streak fly by the window. Tommy broke out into a large grin when he saw his handsome boyfriend pulling the door open. 

“Hey babe,” Barry sauntered over to Tommy, trying not to squeak his sneakers. Barry placed one of his hands on Tommy’s arms, and leaned in to kiss him. “You’ve already got dinner. Fantastic.” 

Tommy kissed him chastely, then gestured to the lawyer. “You remember Ms. Green?”

“Hello, Pamela,” Barry said, politely waving awkwardly. 

“Uh, Mr. Allen, can you sign here and here?” The lawyer asked, in her efficient polite lawyerly tone. 

Barry took the offered pen, and signed the places indicated. Tommy had already signed the papers. She closed the paperwork, and placed it in her briefcase. “Thank you for your time, gentleman. It’s been a pleasure doing business with you.”

She snagged the pen out of Barry’s hand as she slipped by Tommy. Tommy watched her leave, and exhaled loudly. “I know it’s not good business to stick your dick where you need a strong lawyer, but I was young and stupid. Sit, sit!” Tommy added, as he slid into his own seat.    
  


Barry sat across from him and stretched his arm across the table to his boyfriend. Tommy kissed the fingertips offered to him, while Barry laid his head on his arm. “Busy day?”

“Three Flash issues while I was trying to be Barry.” 

Tommy nodded, reaching out to touch Barry’s forehead. “I know you’re not really tired.”

“No, just snuggly and hungry, but it’s rude to snuggle while we eat.”

“Iris’ rule?”

Barry nodded his head, making pathetic eyes at Tommy. Tommy made a face, and laughed. “Where do you think we should go?”

“Oh, on vacation or Crypto-hunting?”

“On our honeymoon?”

Barry started laughing, and sat up. He took a sip of his soda, and made eye contact with Tommy. The smile slid off his face. 

“You know to celebrate our marriage.”

“Our what now?”

“We’re married. That’s why you were signing all those papers.”

Barry stared hard at Tommy, as he tried to replay the last ten minutes in his head. 

“That’s why the lawyer was here?”

Barry’s mind was still whirling, but he managed to say, “You have a lot of student debt now.”

“No I don’t. I paid yours off about two weeks ago.”

Barry picked up his cell phone, and dialed Oliver’s number. “Hey Ollie, I need a Tommy to English translation, please.” 

Barry held his phone out to Tommy who took it, and walked away to discuss what was happening with Barry to his friend. Barry took his time eating meal, while he kept his eyes on Tommy. Tommy was pacing back and forth.

Barry absent-mindedly reached for his phone but realized that Tommy was on it. Barry scooped up Tommy’s instead, and played a few levels of some match three game. Barry glanced up at Tommy and saw him at the counter still. He clicked out of the game, and pulled up the notepad in the phone. He typed a small love note. 

“Tommy, you’re at the counter on the phone with Oliver. Your forehead is furrowed, and you’re chewing your lip. You look sexier than ever. I’m so glad you’re mine. I love you, Barry <3<3<3” 

Tommy sat down across from him, and held the phone out to Barry. 

“Hey,” Barry said, clicking off Tommy’s phone, and sliding it back to him. Tommy tucked it into his pocket, and tucked into his own meal. 

“Allen, you fucked up, man.”

“What are you talking about Ollie?”

“Did you read any of your texts he sent you today?”

“Of course, I did. I’m not-”

“Dude, he said, “we need to get married” and you said “let’s do it tonight.” So I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do to “fix this.””

“No, I didn’t-”

“Check your messages, and then call me back.”

“Anything superhero going on?” Barry asked, running his fingers through his hair.

“I wouldn’t ask newly weds to participate anyway.” 

“Shut up,” Barry said, as he hung up his cell phone. “Tommy,” Barry said, firmly, reaching out to take his husband’s hands. Tommy met Barry’s eyes, and gently ran his thumb over the back of Barry’s hand. “Are we married?”

  
“Yes.”

“I-” Barry cut himself off, and studied Tommy’s face. Several emotions ran across it; confusion, fear, panic. 

“You fucking suggested it.”

“I was joking!”

Tommy’s smile shifted into a frown. “sorry, right. I’ll call the lawyer now and cancel it-”

“Marriage is serious, Tommy.” 

“I know it is! I’m serious about you.” 

“Tommy! You aren’t serious about anything.” 

“I broke my own rules for you. If that doesn’t prove how serious I am-”

“I don’t even know your rules!”

Tommy pressed his thumb and his first fingers into his eyes while he thought. “I’ll call Pamela and tell her not to file it. I mean, if you’re not interested in being my husband, why should we do this?” 

“Stop,” Barry commanded sharply. 

Tommy wiped his eyes, then managed to say in a thick voice, “I'm sorry. I just love you and want you for myself.” 

“Come here.” Barry said, much softer than before. Tommy stood up and allowed himself to be pulled into his sweetheart’s arms. “You are mine.” Tommy nodded his head against Barry’s shoulder. “Let’s go home and discuss this, my love.” 

Tommy nodded again, and squeezed Barry once. “Will you Speed Force us?” 

Barry laughed, kissing the top of Tommy’s head before he tapped the Speed Force to clean up the table. Tommy took Barry’s hand and they sped out of Big Belly Burger. 

Arriving at Tommy’s apartment, the two men separate to shower. After they finish, they find their way back to the bedroom. Barry’s wearing flannel pajama pants reading Dr. Raymond Palmer’s newest book. Tommy hung at the door, trying to wipe the miserable expression off his face.

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to be your husband,” Tommy managed to say sourly, leaning against the door frame. 

Barry put his book down, and asked in a quiet voice, “if this had not happened, would you still want to marry me in one year?

“Yes, absolutely.”

“What happened here was miscommunication. I want to be your husband too. I didn’t realize how serious you were. I thought you were joking.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Obliviously, babe. Come join me.”

Tommy sat on the bed next to his husband, and held his hand out for Barry to take it. Barry joined their fingers together, before he continued speaking. 

“You are a good man. I'm not worthy to be your husband, but i’ll take it,” Barry said, keeping his eyes on their joined hands. 

“No one thinks that.” 

“I do.” Barry said, softly, as he stared at their hands. Tommy glanced at their joined hands then managed to meet eyes with his husband. 

“are you going to leave me?”

“because you were clever enough to trick me? No.”

“Heckin’ bamboozled,” Tommy muttered. 

Barry threw his head back and laughed ridiculously, “Yes I was.”

“I ordered rings from Amazon. They’ll be here tomorrow.”

“Fantastic,” Barry smiled, laying his head against Tommy’s shoulder.

“I have an idea on how to tell our friends about us.” 

  
  
  


A grainy video turns on featuring Barry wearing Tommy’s monogrammed PJs displayed proudly. Tommy’s wearing a flash t-shirt, and a pair of crimson pj pants. The two men are smiling, snuggling, and holding hands. The two men look tired, but are grinning. The light coming in the window suggested the middle of the night. 

“Good morning to all we love-” Tommy started, but Barry interrupted eagerly, “and those who merely tolerate us-”

“I, Thomas Rupert Merlyn, has tricked our darling scarlet speedster, Bartholomew Allen into marriage.” 

“So as of midnight tonight, Tommy is officially an Allen. Welcome to the family, my dumbass.” 

The husbands smile sweetly, before they share a kiss and the video ends. 


End file.
